Why are Kid Friendly Chores so Controversial?
Have you heard about all the controversy behind parents assigning household chores to their children? I mean I get it. Everyone parents differently, however, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around why children having age-appropriate chores is a bad thing. The real question is, why aren't we expecting our children to do chores?
"Let kids be kids", they say or "Stop being a lazy parent and just clean your damn house". I'm not one to tell another mother how to run her household, but it's been proven that having children complete housework helps them become self-sufficient adults. Now how can that be a bad thing?
When I became a single mom, I'll admit I was beyond exhausted. Managing everything without thinking of asking for help. I'll be quite honest, I did run down the list of practical ways to make my life simpler.
Parenting is hard; single parenting is even more challenging. We manage so much day-to-day, and we often downplay how much help we need.
It honestly never occurred to me to have my children start doing age-appropriate chores until my daughter and son asked if they could help with the dishes and loading the dryer. From there, my current system kind of fell into place.
For those parents who are opposed to children having a set of age-appropriate chores are most likely able to share the load with a partner. So to them having their children do anything around the house would be absurd.
On the other hand, these children often go off to college or living on their own with next to no hospitality skills.
Up until now, everything has been done for them. Taking the fact that I am a single mother out of the equation altogether, I still believe that children benefit from doing a bit of housework. Here's why kid-friendly chores should not be so controversial.
Chores Humble Children
Although single parents can benefit from having their kids help around the house, kids actually benefit the most. Kids love feeling like they're a part of the team. My kids are young, so helping mommy around the house is a lot of fun for them.
I will admit that getting kids to do a little housework is a lot easier when they're younger and with teens.
In an article in Psychology Today, Nancy Darling Ph.D. states that because she has her children helping around the house it shines through while they're in school too. Their teacher described them as helpful and nice.
A kid who is not used to doing chores in the home will probably be a total loss at school in the beginning. But over time will still pick up the importance of tidying up a bit from school. Which is another problem on its own because education should begin at home.
Don't Turn Out Spoiled
Resistance is to be expected but that should not deter you from remaining firm in your decisions. They are children. Tantrums, eye rolling, and long dramatic sighs are how they express themselves. I mean come on, who really likes doing chores? I don't, and I am the master of procrastination.
On the other hand, I still encourage my children to perform little tasks now and as they get older it will already be instilled in them. Children who are not required to do anything that takes the focus off of them and their needs can grow up spoiled.
Our children watch us closely and absorb our "lessons" without words. We have the power to show them how to be affirmative, hard-working and empowered individuals.
Teaches Children to be Self Sufficient
In an article in the Chicago Tribune, reporter Heidi Stevens stated that 75 percent of parents said they believe chores make children "more responsible," and 63 percent said chores teach kids "important life lessons." While 5 percent said they see "no benefits".
Research shows that children who have chores have are more responsible, are able to deal with disappointment and delay gratification. By conditioning our children at an early age to perform household chores, we are helping them become self-sufficient and ready for the outside world.
There are also positive ways to get children motivated by completing their chores through reward systems. These types of incentives are mostly done for younger children or teens who are reluctant. Or for parents who have a hard time motivating their kids. Make it a little more fun and reward them for their efforts. This way they will also take pleasure in their work.
Single mothers have to work overtime developing and nurturing characteristics in our children. If you're a single mom who's been feeling guilted by overly opinionated moms, stop it now. Unhealthy guilt can be a psychological burden that conflicts with your emotions and quality of life and the way you parent.
Let me reiterate how crucial it is to teach our children these basic skills. They will definitely benefit from it into adulthood. There is no one right way to parent, however, for a single mom determined to beat the odds against me.
I'm not leaving anything to chance. I can't let them go off into the world and have to "figure it out" when the numbers are already stacked against them.
I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood. I would for you to come hang out with me in my Facebook Group. I can't wait to virtually meet you!