When Is it Okay to Talk About Absent Fathers?
SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 009
In this episode, I talk about why a fathers role is crucial in the upbringing of a child. I also discuss how to appropriately handle talking to your child about their dad if he is an absent parent.
Children require love and support from both parents, and unfortunately, that's not always the case. A fathers role is crucial in the upbringing of a child and eliminating the father all together does give children a disadvantage.
HOW TO APPROACH THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
In the first few minutes of this episode I talk about how as kids get older they start asking more questions about, “Where is daddy?” or “Why doesn’t he come see us anymore?”. I explain how over time you stop knowing what to tell your child and how it’s best not to lie, but refrain from speaking negatively about their dad.
How to talk about their dad when the kids are around
Having to explain to your child about their absent father can suck and can be really emotional. However, your child may hold on to those words and as they get older may think YOU were the reason they never seen their father. Also, let him know that he is NOT the reason for their dad not coming around. Right now all they need to know and understand is that they are loved and let them make their own judgement as they get older.
Don’t give him too much power
Don't spend too much time forcing a relationship between your child and their father. If their dad doesn't want to be involved, he won't be. All the effort you are making also paves the way for him to tell everyone else how great of a dad he's being, when in truth it was you who just wanted your child to have a relationship with their dad. Let your child ask could they call him. If he doesn't answer, say "Well daddy didn't answer today” and let him leave a voicemail.
Hear about when it’s age appropriate to discuss an absent father
Understand why it’s important to not speak negatively about him