Six Reasons Why You Hate Being A Single Mom Most Days
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Before you became a single mom did you ever stop and think how hard it would be? How much you would hate being a single mom? Well, of course, you hate it. No one wants to raise their children on their own.
Being a single mom is hands down one of the hardest jobs you will ever have. Your whole existence revolves around the care of your children. For solo moms, it's ten times harder because they are doing it completely alone. No hand-offs or arguments about sharing holidays. Just alone.
Now I'm not one to ever really complain about how much I hate being a single mom, but I won't be shamed for having these feelings either. And neither should you. Your journey may have led you down a different path than a divorced single mom, but it does not devalue you or your feelings in any way.
You are allowed to voice why you hate being a single mother, the same way married moms can talk about the things they hate about motherhood. So let it out, speak your mind, and have no fear of judgment. The world is full of trolls and they aren't going anywhere anytime soon.
I know there are some moms who may not be brave enough to voice why they hate being a single mom. So I'll be your voice today. In this post I'll list at least six reasons why you hate being a single mom. But I want you to know that you are not alone!
#1 coping with Depression
Sleep problems, concentration problems, moodiness, fatigue, or irritability, does this sound like you? If so, you are most likely depressed. Depression makes it very difficult for you to parent affectively.
Single moms who struggle with the challenges of depression find it difficult, and next to impossible find the energy to take their children to the park, reading books or even talking. Depression can have a profound impact your child's development, so it's best to start managing your depression now!
#2 Having to explain an absent parent to your children
Children are more observant than we give them credit for. It's hard explaining to children, what seems like every day, why their dad isn't around anymore. You think of a lie, after lie and wonder if they are catching on, or if they blame themselves. It's so hard when they are so young and can't quite fully understand. Never fear, one day your child will realize how his father has fallen short.
Don't spend too much time forcing a relationship between your children and their father. If their dad doesn't want to be involved, he won't be. All the effort you are making also paves the way for him to tell everyone else how great of a dad he's being when in truth it was you who just wanted your children to have a relationship with their dad.
#3 No Financial Freedom
When you are raising kids on your own without a partner, your personal finances are constantly on your mind. Especially without a supplemental income like child support. No matter how much money you make, you'll start to penny pinch because raising children is pretty damn expensive. And those surprise expenses can be a headache on its own.
#4 Not having the proper emotional and physical support
Emotional and physical support is hard to come by. Left alone to bear all the responsibilities of parenting, you tend to downplay how much help you really need. Being a single mom requires us to reach out for help, however for some, that option is not available. Without the proper support system it's easier to succumb to overwhelm and depression.
#5 Extremely Overwhelmed
With all the things you have to accomplish as your child's primary custodian, it's no wonder you are overwhelmed. This is another downside to single parenting. It's so much easier to get burnt out when you have no one to help you with the day-to-day responsibilities.
#6 Having to explain to your child why they can't do something
Being a single mom often means you have to be strict with your funds. Or not having anyone to take them somewhere they really want to go when you have to be at work.That is something your children may not understand right now, probably think you're being unreasonable or not trying hard enough.
I can honestly say that even though I hate being a single mom, I have never really known my true self until now. This journey has made me stronger and in its own way, shed light on my new passion. Outside of being a mom, I've been able to focus on myself and fall in love. And in time, you will too.
Don't get me wrong though, some days I feel like a failure, other days, I know I got this. I have the motivation and more than enough love to give my children everything that they need. Some days I still question if I'll still have the drive to get up tomorrow and do this all over again. It is my love for them and their love for me that drives me to be the best mom I can be.
There will always be days where you'll feel like giving up. Remember that you have the smile, kiss and tender touch they need to make everything okay. You are their sunshine and comfort. It is okay to feel all of these feelings and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't let internet trolls or negative people in your community tell you that you should've had an abortion or waited for a ring. Marriage isn't for everyone.
The way you became a single mom does not devalue you or your feelings. You are still a person and you are entitled to feel however you want. My advice to you will ALWAYS be to not dwell too much on what you or your children are missing. Yes, it would be nice to have raised your children together, but I do believe everything happens for a reason.
I'm Daisha Renee; single mama, foodie, and lover of yoga. Here on the blog, I love providing powerful solutions for overwhelmed single moms who struggle with balancing all the components of single motherhood. I would also LOVE it if you could join me in my Facebook Group. I can't wait to virtually meet you!