Five Amazing Tips On How To Survive Single Motherhood
Single motherhood requires a delicate balance. It seems to entail nonstop demands on our mental, physical, and emotional energy.
I have been a single mom for almost 3 years now. I almost, always run myself into the ground trying to do and be everything without thinking about my mental and physical health.
Over the years I've learned what works for me and what doesn't. Here are some tips on how to survive single motherhood.
How to survive being a single mom
I am a full-time single mom and I don't get a lot of alone time, and mostly by choice. I use to feel like I had to do it all. That if I couldn't, then I failed as a parent.
The point is that burning yourself out makes you pretty much useless to your children.
You are a "single" parent, you cannot do it alone. It is true what they say, it does take a village to raise a child. When help is offered to you take it!
Even when help isn't offered, ask. You will be thankful for it in the long run. Even if it's 1 or 2 hours, that's more hours than you had before. Especially if you have more than one kid like me, TAKE IT!
Single mom support
Connect with people who understand your situation. If you are a newly single parent, then hanging other with non-single parents can be a downer. It will make you resent the shit out of your kid’s other parent and maybe your current situation.
Find comfort in new friendships. Talk about your children, talk about something other than your children, or a new hobby that you want to try. Get out and do something that is totally non-parent related.
Other single mothers are one of your biggest supporters and will listen to you vent about anything. They will have proper responses instead of the unhelpful, "Damn that sucks", because they've either been there or are in your shoes. Just remember to not be too negative.
Look for the silver lining in your situation. If you get to a point in your life where the past doesn’t sting as much, befriend some non-single parents too.
Okay, so I learned this one when I was pregnant with my youngest son I was a newly single mom with 2 kids and pregnant. I was pretty much parenting on my own while working a full-time job.
Needless to say, I was exhausted and pissed. So, I started teaching my little ones to clean up after themselves to make things a little easier on me.
Fast forward to the present, my children now are putting up their own toys, straightening up their rooms once play time is over, putting their own dishes in the sink or dishwasher once they've completed their meals, and making their beds. My kids also like helping load and unload the laundry.
I cannot stress how important it is to teach your children these basic skills. For one they will benefit from it into adulthood and I'm sure their spouses (if they decide to marry) will thank you too.
You already manage so much on your own. If you have older children, show them how to help you with the younger ones.
Start with a simple task:
Putting the toys back in the toy box
Straightening up their room after play
Making the bed (doesn't have to be the neatest we applaud the effort)
Putting their dish in the sink or dishwasher
Throwing their own thrash away once they're done with a snack so you won't have to clean up juices boxes and an empty bag of Cheetos off the floor.
It may seem like a good idea at the time to get chores done while the kids are down for a nap or spending the day with grandma.
NO! You need rest.
This is so important because we need time to recharge our mom batteries and be ready for the next wave of tantrums. Wearing yourself down to the brink of exhaustion is never a good thing. Once again take care of your mental and physical health.
Single moms need Mommy Time
Mommy time means taking off your mom gear (you know those yoga pants and sweats you like to wear), get dolled up and go out with your friends. See a movie even if it's by yourself (yes, I do this). Go for a walk or a run.
Take yourself shopping, even if you treat yourself to one thing you'll feel pretty damn good afterward. Learn to be okay with doing things that are just for you. You will spend your whole life taking care of your children, but you still must take care of your physical and mental health.
Okay now that we've gone over these essential tips to help you survive single motherhood, it's time to put it to action. Of course, you won't see change all at once. Change times time in your routine. Try these methods one by one, until you’ve become accustomed to them.
And remember, try not to be too hard on yourself. Your children are watching closely. Good luck, in your journey!